Influencing skills

All of us are confronted with moments when we need to convince someone else that our point of view is valid. They do not necessarily have to see the entire picture as we do, but they need enough information about our position on this to join us in some endeavor. This can happen in relationships at the office or outside the office.

Certain strategies work better than others. If you have often used yelling or pouting or stomping your foot to get your way, this may not work. Especially if the difference in opinion is with your boss. These 2 year old behaviors can get you "downsized".

Here are tried and tested behaviors that can influence:

Step 1: Listen carefully to the other's position. As you listen, notice places in the other's discourse where you do agree. (You can use these later.)
Step 2: Match the breathing rate of the other person. You are literally and figuratively getting on their wave length. Tip: The rhythm and pacing of their words will indicate their breathing rate as well as the edge of their shoulder outlined against a contrasting back ground.
Step 3: Pay attention to the verbs used by the other that reflect their favorite perceptual system. Example "I see what you mean" or " That doesn't sound feasible." or "I feel this is the best answer." Repeat these sensory ( connected to the see, hear, and feel senses) words in stating your position. This is quick way to achieve rapport.
Step 4: Come up with a big goal that you both can agree on. For example, "We both want our division to win this contest." Or, " I know we both want to keep the good parts of this relationship."
Step 5: Do not make the other person wrong. Once you have suceeded in this, rapport goes, and without rapport, there will be no mutual agreement.
Step 6: Recall a past situation where the two of you worked together with success, if you have one of these memories. Mention this easily and concisely. Don't dwell on it. Just bring it up quickly. The rapport from the past may influence the rapport of the moment.
Step 7: If you are stuck in conflict, go for a walk, for coffee, or do something to change both of your body postures.
Step 8: If, after 10 minutes you have not determined a joint outcome, ask the other to tell you more about what they want in this particular situation. Listen carefully, and begin again.
Step 9: If you can find a solution that gains the outcomes of both parties, then you are a master negotiator and can enjoy the art of influencing.
Step 10: If you are still having trouble finding a creative solution, focus on the present moment for 90 seconds ( Right Brain access and computing) and notice what creative ideas surface for you. Cover this creative thinking time-out by saying something like, "You have some very interesting points I had not considered, now let me think about this for a moment."

Change Your Life - Take A Risk

Please Join Us On Wednesday September 2:
How to Change Your Life
Take Risks
What is your tendency for risk? Are you a risk taker or are you risk avoidant? Where do you lie on the risk scale? What is a healthy balance of risk?

Join Genie and her panel at 11am (Pacific) on Wednesday

http://www.conferrooms.com/rooms/GenieLaborde.aspx

Join Genie and her panel this Wednesday to discuss:

1. How taking risk(s) can change the direction of your life
2. Define "risk" in a life-changing context
3. When and how to take a risk
4. How to measure and realize the benefits of risk
5. Practice taking risk and report results (net change) at successive sessions

Next VideoCast:

Fix Any Glitch In Your Behavior

1. Anger
2. Sadness
3. Avoidance
4. Rage
5. Tension
6. Obsession
7. Anxiety
8. Tardiness
9. Procrastination
10. Rudeness
11. Mean-ness
12. Short temper
    

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

11am Pacific

We’ll use NLP, Gestalt Psychology, and new Right Brain insights to re-work your habitual responses to outside stimuli. Often these old patterns began at such an early age that you cannot remember the precipitating event. When these habits become a problem for you, it is time to re-wire your brain. What’s interesting is that many of these bad habits are simply a laid down neurological response to fear or anxiety. New positive habits are fairly easy to install to replace the ones that are no longer useful to you. The installation seems like magic but actually, the new habit is simply re-wiring your dendrites. My trainers call the process “Dendridic Popcorn,”
Join us for a Liberating one-hour session It’s more fun than the movies.

FREE Interactive Video-Cast
with Genie Z. Laborde, Ph.D.
Each Wednesday
11am (Pacific)
(12pm Mountain, 1pm Central, 2pm Eastern)

Email us to sign up.

We’ll email you a link to the online Conference Room on Wednesday morning before the conference begins.



Shift Your Recession Depression

2 More Preview Sessions Added:

SHIFT
YOUR RECESSION DEPRESSION
at your computer

Free Preview

Tuesday, July 28

or Thursday, July 30
11am to noon

“Are your worried?” “Are you feeling anxiety?” “Having a difficult time handling your emotions?”

Then this session is for you!

What this is:

Introduction to 8 weeks of Conferrooms
(meetings on the net)

Support group

Led by

Genie Z. Laborde, Ph. D.

(Author & Psychologist)

& Sheila Dubrow, M.A., CPIM

(Organizational Psychologist)

email us at mail@influence-integrity.com to sign up for the FREE Preview

Think Big! FREE VideoCast April 22

Think Big!

FREE Video-Cast

with Genie Z. Laborde, Ph.D.

DATE: Wednesday
April 22, 2009

TIME: 11am Pacific
(12pm Mountain, 1pm Central, 2pm Eastern)

Email us to sign up. We'll email you the link to the Conference Room on Wednesday Morning.

Inspire Yourself with a New Story for These Stressful Times

How to Change Your Internal Tapes

FREE Video-Cast

with Genie Z. Laborde, Ph.D.

DATE: Wednesday
April 15, 2009

TIME: 11am Pacific
(12pm Mountain, 1pm Central, 2pm Eastern)

Most, maybe all of us, create an on-going story of our life's experiences. These could be called our own "Personal Myths." These stories add the "why's" and "how's" of what goes on in our collective and separate lives. Our moment to moment perceptions are coded in our brains, then we assign meanings based on these myths. What we tell ourselves about our see, hear, smell, taste, and feel data, dictates our reality. We create a reality that reflects and reinforces our stories.

You can change your myth. You can edit certain passages. We will demonstrate with our audience. It is a fascinating way to let go of anxiety now.

Email us to sign up.

We'll email you a link to the online Conference Room on Wednesday morning before the conference begins.

Turn Off Painful Memories

FREE Video-Cast

with Genie Z. Laborde, Ph.D.

DATE: Wednesday
April 8, 2009

TIME: 11am Pacific
(12pm Mountain, 1pm Central, 2pm Eastern)

NeuroScientists have just published their discovery of PKM zeta, the molecules in the brain that control memory. Called "quick dial function" molecules, these can be turned off by an injection of ZIP, right into the brain. They tested this on rats, but humans are on the future schedule.

If the idea of a shot of ZIP into your brain doesn't ring your bell, join us on Wednesday and I will show you how to do this memory erasing with the "Magic in Your Own Brain."

Email us to sign up.

We'll email you a link to the online Conference Room on Wednesday morning before the conference begins.